Sunday, January 29, 2017

Cold Turkey Tastic: Loving the social media detox

This was written in August 2016...when I was so laid back on holiday I totally forgot to post also gave me some valuable thinking time. See what you think.

I have stopped using Facebook. Nearly. And I tell you what, I feel better for it.

My own anti social media revolution began on a recent holiday. Our holiday home in northern Cyrpus had no wifi, and it was an amazing break. Not just from the routine of home, not to mention work, but from the break from the constant immersion in other people's lives. 

There's something about holidays which makes you believe anything is possible, and the enforced break from routine made me realise how many hours a week I must spend aimlessly scrolling through my iPhone, checking Facebook, Twitter, linked in and local and national news pages. 

On holiday, thanks to the lack of wifi in the house, I looked less and talked more. It was truly refreshing so, since my return home, I've tried to make the effort to keep off social media, (apart from what I have to do for work) and I feel the better for it. 

One of the first things I did while soaking up the calm in a local cafe was take 30 minutes and go through my Friends list....and my rule now with Facebook friends is this.....if you and I bumped into each other and had a spare half hour, would we sit down for a cuppa or a glass of wine? If the answer's yes, they stayed, if the answer's no, they went.

I actually found the process quite refreshing, but emotional. I realised who I am close to, who I am not close to and painfully, sometimes, who I have grown apart from. But the relief of cutting down my newsfeed and being a witness to countless other lives was enormous. No more gazing at photos of the friends who have never let me past the perfection. I no longer have to look at the carefully chosen pictures of a "friend" who wouldn't let me past the front door when I called round with a house warming gift. Or the photos of the overdone hen do, filtered smile, food photographed at the high end restaurant (why do people do that!) or seemingly great night out. I don't need to be a lurking guest at events I was never invited to. And, we all have that choice. 

We don't have to use social media. We can limit what we see...have a choice....The relief is palpable. 
I don't think we should feel guilty for having a shake up. Life moves on, it's only sensible that people do too. But I can choose all the great bits. I love seeing my best friend's new baby, catching up on news from family from afar and seeing the life journeys of the friends I feel close to but don't see. 

I think that because social media is so overused, we forget that actually, we have a choice. This world we love in is now hyper connected, which adds so many pressures, but we don't have to be that way. I love being off the hamster wheel.

As an avid tea drinker, I know how I feel when I've drunk too many cups in one day; kind of numb but buzzing. I can feel it sloshing around inside me, but I'll still have one more cup. 

That's what social media is like. The endless scrolling, for me at least, like an ever changing magazine, was resulting in the same kind of numbness, but for me it goes deeper than that. I truly believe that even without realising it, watching picture perfect versions of other people's lives isn't good for us.

I believe it makes us dissatisfied with what we have. We view other people's photos and posts, and for us they're the truth about that person. When money is tight, the rain is lashing at the window and the kids are playing up, but someone else is on a magical holiday, or boasting about their gym visit, or a new job, or a new home or car, we can feel stuck. Why do we need to share, have constant approval from others? Give it a might be surprised at what you don't need to see.

I think life is complex enough, yet we add to the stress of needlessly comparing ourselves with others by staring at images of Instagramed beauty and wishing we had more. #NoFilter say the posts, but there is always a filter, it's our filter, our internal monologue, whispering that we're not good enough, that we can never have enough.
I believe that one of the hardest things in life is living a simple life, being grateful for what you have. 

But I know one thing for sure, looking at other people's Facebook accounts isn't going to bring me what I want. It only moves me further away and makes me more dissatisfied. We have got enough obstacles to face to get to our goals without intentionally putting another one in the way.

Think what you could do if you weren't scrolling. Cut down and see how you go. Trust me; I think you'll find you're not missing anything.

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