Thursday, February 9, 2017

Ain't no holding back by the sale rail

Can you remember the last time you really, really wanted to buy something?
I can. And I did. 

Turn back the clock to just over a year ago....before cruel, grey, diet filled, booze free, miserable, creaking January limped to an end.

It had been one of those days at work where everyone seemed to be in a bad mood , the weather was miserable as sin, so was everyone in the office and beyond and the passive aggressive emails were piling up high. And I hadn't eaten anything, always a warning light that the day isn't going to be a winner.

Slowly, the hands of the clock crept round to 12 noon and as soon as it was 12:01 I made a big show to no one at all of putting on my coat and heading into town "for a bit".

Faint with low blood sugar though I was,the urge to buy something, anything , was like an itch to be scratched. And it wouldn't go away. It had blended, that perfect combination of the irritable temper, the need to escape the witchy, wind whipped weather and the tug and lure of the warm, fragrant store full of wardrobe essentials that awaited. A perfect case of the temper, the witch and the wardrobe.

The excuses started, piling up high in my mind as I made my way through the racks. I just need one thing, I said to myself. I've got through a lousy morning. I've worked so hard. I've been so nice. So, this being the middle of January (with no pay packet in sight after Christmas) I perused the sale rails, thinking how self restrained I was being because I was only looking at reduced clothes.

In truth, the jumbled up stuff that had been hanging round for months was depressing. I congratulated myself on not buying anything and foolishly headed for the new season stock. After all, it couldn't hurt just to look, right?
And there it was, so prettily displayed.

Wrong. The sight of the designer navy coat was like a sucker punch to my inner shopper. It hung on its own which to me has always been a sign that I should buy it because "it's the only one there."

You know what happens next....your heart rate speeds up, you reach up, dry mouthed to try it on. You check the price tag and reluctantly see it is about £150 over any kind of budget you might have just dreamed up....and then you think: "it can't hurt to try it on." So you do. I did.

And reader, with one soft whisper of expensive fabric falling into place, that coat made me look like the grown-up I'd always longed to be. Suddenly my handbag looked less beaten up, my hair appeared glossier, my teeth got whiter and my scarf became the coat's stylish partner in crime.

If my husband is reading this, I need you to stop now. Have you stopped ? Good. The rest of you can carry on.

So, I'm in front of the mirror, heart beating, coat tempting and wallet empty. Particularly at this price. And yet....and's perfect. It's my grown up moment. It's Italian (Maxmara, in fact, just in case anyone from their PR company is reading and wants to throw in a voucher) and was the Only One There. Meant For Me. 

In my head, I started dividing the too high price tag over 12...... So, if I wear it all year round, it's like, practically free! And one good coat is better then 3 cheap ones? Right? 

So, out came the credit card along with the myriad of excuses and justifications and I bought it, as the sales assistant made all the right noises about "quality" and "a great choice." And suddenly got that clammy feeling like you've done something wrong and someone's going to find out.

I debated taking it back for the rest of the day, but in truth I liked it too much to return it, and in my mind it had already got 100 compliments. So, for my vanity, the coat was kept.

The reason I'm telling you this story is that I'm guessing (and hoping) you have a similar one. It isn't easy to give up what we think we need , but if we're serious about , for example, getting our financial house in order, or just feeling like we're more in control, we sometimes need to listen to the voice in our head. The one which you try to block out. But, the bottom line is, as humans, we find it hard to walk away from temptation.....Why? 

Maybe it's shame. It's truly hard to say "I can't afford it" whether you are walking away from the item of clothing which makes the endorphins rush through your body , the weekend away, the new car, or the friend's birthday dinner which is just too close to payday, the thing you really want., If its just out of reach, it's a lot more tantalising.

Since CoatGate I do two things: I try to stay out of town and away from websites when the going gets tough and the "need to buy" strikes. I don't succeed all the time but there hasn't been another (serious) CoatGate since. And the second thing? I wear that fucking coat as much as I can. 

Feel free to tweet me a pic of your #CoatGate to @lvjourneaux